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Desirae

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Ok so please tell me and I a selfish bitch. [15 Nov 2003|09:51pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Ok I am being serious so please tell me the truth.

I was babysitting Justeane,Samantha and Hayley last night and Tisha and Johnathan came upstairs and I was doing something in the bathroom and Tisha asked me to you want to hear the news and so I said sure and she showed me a pregnancy test and all's I did was a blank face I couldn't say anything it was like a cat literally had my tounge.So then when Tisha and Johnathan went to go back downstairs and I looked at Tisha and said congratulations and she said thankyou babe and I smiled and then they left.I felt crushed inside and I just started balling I was actually jealous and then it made me realize that I was never going to have my baby and that made me heart broken so I felt like an asshole and I ended up calling Tisha and I said that I was sorry and that I was a little upset but very happy at the same time and she said sweety you don't have to apoligize for anything I know what going through.She made me feel alot better I was wicked depressed though yesterday all day.

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I just hate it when I am sick. [15 Nov 2003|09:21pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Well I am horribly sick and I hate it.It's my throat this time gees I must have a really sucky immune system to be sick all the time.It seems like every morning for the last four days I have woken up with a headache.Eww just go away.And I am also loosing my voice it is all scratchy and annoyed.And it always seems to happen in the winter hmmm last year I got a double ear infection and strept throat that was totally not cool it was disgusting actually it looked like I had patches of white growing day by day and now when I look in the back of my throat It looks like I have scars now.

So yeah I am soo happy that it finally snowed outside I love going sledding it is so much fun but you have to dress really warm and have hot cocoa ready mmmm hmmmm.

So I have like millions of people to buy for this christmas and I have no clue what to get have of them it is so hard.I discussed already with my mommy and daddy that I want presents this year and no money and she already had a plan to get me presents YAY.I love holidays because you all warm and cuddly and you spend time with the people you love and that's always cool.So I have been talking to my ex-boyfriend Billy lately he is doing I am happy he is so darn goofy sometimes he wanted my new address and I asked for what and he said I am going to send you a christmas card and I said ok and he said I am sending it to you next week I giggled and said next week it's not even thanksgiving yet and he told me that he likes to be the first person to give cards out I laughed and said ok.

Omg you have to see this movie.It's the most sweetest movie ever it's called "Love Actually" and it was great so I definitly recommend it to everyone it is a sappy wonderful romantic film and I cried all through it LOL.Not a surprise I am softy for romance what can I say.So go see or you will miss out.I saw after my interview at "Old Navy" I think it went well I hope they said that they would give all five of us a call between mon-wed so I am crossing my fingers.

I got cottage cheese today yay.I love it I crave it hehe.

I love monkeys and I want this monkey stuffed animal I saw it at fashion bug it was so freaking cute.

3 movies I want to see.

1.The santa claus 2
2.Nightmare before christmas
3.The grinch

I have seen two of them but I love them that much hehe.

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Geees it has been forever since I have written a real entry. [12 Nov 2003|12:09pm]
Well I have been doing alot of different things lately like finding a better job YAY I have a interview at oldnavy at 3:30.It was cool I turned in my application and the manager saw me and looked over my application and asked me did I want to come in for an interview so my fingers are crossed.Everyone wish me luck.

Omg I babysat literally from 8:30pm to 5:00am.Gees so long I got paid good though. I was bored I stayed up the whole I always feel bad going to sleep because I am afraid that I won't hear the baby when she wakes up(my niece Hayley)she is 4 months now and getting so big all these and what to do.I also had my other two nieces Samantha and Justeane it they are 4 and almost 6 the 26th is her birthday she is soo excited she actually shocked me last night she said to me "Aunt Desi what happend to that goofy guy" and I said what guy and Sammy said Mike I told her that we broke up a long time ago and she said she missed him awww.He used to help me babysit them sometimes and they loved him because he was funny with his sarcastic humor lol.

Garron made really good food last night mmmm-hmmmm.

Well right now I am babysitting Alaina she came home sick from shcool today wow I am such a great aunt I didn't fall asleep until 6:30am and I woke up at 10:00am to come here and watch her hehe.I love her she is so sweet Sammy and her helped me clean the whole house and Lainy did the dishes she is such a cutie.
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Just some more random sweetness. [12 Nov 2003|11:29am]
And we drove, what felt like forever
down this street and stopped at the edge of the earth
It looks beautiful from here
This is a place we dreamed of
A place made up in our heads,
we thought we'd never see
But here I am
Eyes blinded by painted smiles
We lived a lifetime that night.
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[12 Nov 2003|11:28am]
The sky looks like patchwork
Stitched just enough so the sky won't fall on top of us
It's Alright
The city was covered in gold
And made out of dreams
Everything we wanted was within our reach tonight
And we stood
Tip-toed, eyes-glued at the scene and the realization that
Everything was so clear, and plain to see
This where I belong you can't take me
I was fooling myself all along
I'm never coming back, I'm never coming back
I'm home.
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[12 Nov 2003|11:28am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Don't waste your time on me
You're already the voice inside my head
I miss you...

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Yeah this isn't the greatest not even near but an awesome ass song. [11 Nov 2003|07:44pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Here Without You

A hundred days have made me older, since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight, there’s only you and me

The miles just keep rolling as the people leave their way to say hello
I've heard this life is overrated but I hope that this gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there’s only you and me

Everything I know, and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl, there’s only you and me

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams
but tonight girl, there’s only you and me

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This is a great song.And perfect words. [06 Nov 2003|11:00pm]
Artist: Story Of The Year
Song: Until The Day I Die
Album: Page Avenue

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you

As years go by
I race the clock with you
But if you died right now
You know that I'd die to
I'd die too

You remind me of the times
When I knew who I was (I was)
But still the second hand will catch us
Like it always does

We'll make the same mistakes
I'll take the fall for you
I hope you need this now
Cause I know I still do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Should I bite my tongue?
Until blood soaks my shirt
We'll never fall apart
Tell me why this hurts so much
My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
But still we'll say, "remember when"
Just like we always do
Just like we always do

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you

Yeah I'd spill my heart!!!
Yeah I'd spill my heart for you!!!

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Mistakes like friends do

My hands are at your throat
And I think I hate you
We made the same mistakes
Made the same mistakes

Until the day I die
I'll spill my heart for you, for you

Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you, for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
I'll spill my heart for you
Until the day I die (Until the day I die)
Until the day I die!!!
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Have you ever wondered? [06 Nov 2003|10:58pm]
Have you ever wondered which hurts the most:
Saying something and wishing you had not, or saying nothing, and wishing you had?
I sit here and wonder why things have to be the way they are..
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This is one of my fav. songs. [06 Nov 2003|10:57pm]
"Cute Without The 'E' (Cut From The Team)"

Your lipstick, his collar.. don't bother Angel
I know exactly what goes on

When everything you'll get is
everything that you've wanted, princess
(well which would you prefer)
My finger on the trigger, or
(me face down, down across your floor)
Me face down, down across your floor
(me face down, down across your floor)
Well just so long as this thing's loaded

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
let's go...

Don't bother trying to explain Angel
I know exactly what goes on when you're on and
How about I'm outside of your window
(how about I'm outside of your window)
Watchin him keep the details covered
You're such a sucker (you're such a sucker)
for a sweet talker, yeah

And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin
(the only thing that I regret is that I, I never let you hold me back)
And will you tell all your friends
you've got your gun to my head
This all was only wishful thinkin,
this all was only wishful thinkin

Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I wil never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know you never loved me
Hoping for the best just hoping nothing happens
A thousand clever lines unread on clever napkins
I will never ask if you don't ever tell me
I know you well enough to know...

Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?
Why can't I feel anything
from anyone other than you?

And all of this was all your fault
And all of this

(I stay jealous)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life
(she'll destroy us all before she's through
and find a way to blame somebody else)
I stay wrecked and jealous for this,
for this simple reason
I just need to keep you in mind
as something larger than life!
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Fuck yeah "Babies of the 80's".This is the shit I am talking about. [06 Nov 2003|10:55pm]
Babies Of The 80s
by Something Corporate

I grew up on five-alive
And transformers and slip-n-slide
Toy's R Us and Chuck-e-Cheeze
Disco out and techno in
to synthesize my favorite sin
And here I am on my knees
To get it back again

Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine

We learned to crawl on linoleum floors
Ronald Regan fought Star Wars
But he'll never be Han Solo
Students march Tienemen Square
They took him out hey that's not fair
Dad said it's good to be free
As we watched from our T.V.

Babies of the 80's
Little girls in lycra shorts
Tented beds, nerf contact sports
My babies of the 80's
Shout it out just one more time
For the generation that was all mine

We watched the wall fall down
Woke up early for Bozo the clown
MTV and Nick at Night
And I slept for the first time
Without the light
without the light
without the light

My Babies of the 80's
**Little girls in jelly shoes
got the ferris bueller blues**
My babies of the 80's
yes we could be something after all
Who knew yes we could be something after all
Who knew yes we would be something after all
Who Knew
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Something sweet. [06 Nov 2003|10:54pm]
"Love...we think about it, sing about it, dream about it, lose sleep worrying about it. When we don't have it, we search for it, when we discover it we don't know what to do with it, when we have it, we fear losing it. It is the constant source of pleasure and pain but we can't predict which it will be from one moment to the next. It is a short word, easy to spell, difficult to define but impossible to live without."
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Just one awesome ass quote. [06 Nov 2003|10:51pm]
[ mood | amused ]

"People never know how special someone is until they leave, but maybe sometimes its important to leave, so they are given that chance to see how special that someone really"

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Something that everyone should think about. [06 Nov 2003|10:33pm]
[ mood | curious ]

...for a living planet tomorrow.

Become a member of WWF and join five million other committed and concerned individuals who want to save endangered species and the wild places that are so vital to our planet's health and survival.

"We shan't save all we should like to, but we shall save a great deal more than if we had never tried."
- Sir Peter Scott (1909-89), WWF founder 1961

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Just a few cute thoughts... [05 Nov 2003|11:33pm]
[ mood | calm ]

i had tender feelings that you made hard, but its your heart, not mine, thats scarred. so when i go home, ill be happy to go - youre just somebody that i used to know. you dont need my help anymore, its all now to you, there aint no before now that youre big enough to run your own show - youre just somebody that i used to know. i watched you deal in a dying day, and throw a living past away, so you can be sure that youre in control - youre just somebody that i used to know. i know you dont think you did me wrong, and i cant stay this mad for long, keeping a hold of what you just let go - youre just somebody that i used to know. elliott smith / 1969-2003

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